What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Fast-Track to Happiness: One Week of Micro-Acts Makes a Difference - Neuroscience News

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Why do untreated borderlines always blame their partners when they actually think they are normal?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Why do people still think Michael Jackson was guilty?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Have anyone had an relationship of any kind with a spirit or demon, such as a succubus? If so, how was it?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

How do you get a teenage boy to care about hygiene?

Make Nazis afraid again!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Have you ever accidentally seen your mother-in-law doing something that was private to her?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

What is something you want to "get off your chest"?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

How did it feel when experiencing gay sex for the first?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Why do some people enjoy being dominated?

TEXT:

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

The Roman Empire at the time of Christ kept meticulous records. Why then, is there no record of the trial of Jesus?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”